If we have wings... how do we carry our rucksack?

Hey, I can't believe I'm ranting

2011-08-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

Feeling so hopeless but I knew I must not give up yet...

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarahkatu,

It has been a while till I last blogged. It has been a busy year, with lots of trials and tribulations but Alhamdulillah everything went well in the end.

This month is the month of Ramadhan, the holiest month in the calender. The month of repentance, forgiveness and ransom from the fire, the month of goodness and blessing, the month of generosity and kindness.

I have done my best to top up my iman but I still have a long way to go to be one of the inhabitants of His heaven. Especially since I have this feeling of disappointment and resentment over some issues...

Ahhh I just can't help myself but feel frustrated during events you need help from someone, all they say is you can do it. Wait for it. Make doa for it. I know that they are encouraging me and of course make doa is the right way but I just feel so down when I heard them say it. Especially if the said person has gone to the same problem too and brush it off easily as s/he has solved the problem. Who knows how many I make doa, how many time I plead, how many times I cried, but the solution was never there and when I tried asking their help, all they said are these?

I am guessing what I'm feeling right is now is probably jealousy. Jealous that they have work out their problems. Jealous that they don't have the same degree of problem as mine. Jealous that I am still suffering over here... These envy slowly becomes anger and bitterness...

I hate myself for still experiencing this feeling during this month when I should be forgiving...

O Allah, please guide me to the right path...

"Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again"

Hey, I actually done 3018 words of my assignment!

2011-02-04T16:58:00.000-08:00

وَذَرِ الَّذِينَ اتَّخَذُوا دِينَهُمْ لَعِبًا وَلَهْوًا وَغَرَّتْهُمُ الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا ۚ وَذَكِّرْ بِهِ أَنْ تُبْسَلَ نَفْسٌ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ لَيْسَ لَهَا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَلِيٌّ وَلَا شَفِيعٌ وَإِنْ تَعْدِلْ كُلَّ عَدْلٍ لَا يُؤْخَذْ مِنْهَا ۗ أُولَٰئِكَ الَّذِينَ أُبْسِلُوا بِمَا كَسَبُوا ۖ لَهُمْ شَرَابٌ مِنْ حَمِيمٍ وَعَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ بِمَا كَانُوا يَكْفُرُونَ
Leave alone those who take their religion to be mere play and amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world. But proclaim (to them) this (truth): that every soul delivers itself to ruin by its own acts: it will find for itself no protector or intercessor except Allah: if it offered every ransom, (or reparation), none will be accepted: such is (the end of) those who deliver themselves to ruin by their own acts: they will have for drink (only) boiling water, and for punishment one most grievous: for they persisted in rejecting Allah.
[ 6: 70 الأنعام (the livestock)]

As I browsed through the pictures in my picture folder, it made me miss home so so much more :(

All the more to these two brats

Can't believe we three actually survived Singapore all by ourselves!

Muka Nabil priceless!!

Sissy boy :P

Alhamdulillah that given the chances of times I could have fall and twisted my ankle today... there was none :)

Hey, I .....

2011-02-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

‏لَّقَدْ كَفَرَ ٱلَّذِينَ قَالُوٓا إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ ثَالِثُ ثَلَثَةٍ وَمَا مِنْ إِلَهٍ إِلَّآ إِلَهٌ وَحِدٌ وَإِن لَّمْ يَنتَهُوا عَمَّا يَقُولُونَ لَيَمَسَّنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ
Those people who say that God is the third of three are defying [the truth]: there is only One God. If they persist in what they're saying, a painful punishment will afflict those of them who persists
[5: 73 المائدة‎ (the feast)]

When was the last time you cried? Not a few drops of salty water from your eyes, or the odd tear that slipped down your face while watching a tragic event.

I'm talking about warm tears of the heart. Tears that sting your face because they've been there so long, their bitter saltiness hurts your skin.

Tears flow when we remember how much Allah has blessed us with and how much we disobey Him. We can never repay Allah for everything we have, yet we still blatantly commit sins both big and small: whether it's backbiting, hurting other human beings, not standing up for the truth, treating our family badly, lying, doing good deeds to show off, cheating, disobeying God's commands..

Allah opens ways out of problems for us, easing our burdens. Yet, we still disobey Him and take His Mercy for granted.

And the most telling example of a man who few would think would cry because of Allah is Umar, may Allah be pleased with him. He was known for being strong, fearless, and uncompromising when it came to matters of faith. Yet, Abdullah ibn Isa said that Umar had two black streaks on his face because of constant weeping.

I'm not as strong as pious as Umar but I do have my share of crying. Never have I cried so much in a week. Ongoing. I fear the punishment of Allah. Why can't I remind myself of the punishment in the Hereafter which is eternal? Just the steam from a boiling kettle stings me, what about the flame of the Hellfire?

I pray to God to keep me strong. And patient. During these tough, painful times. So hard I don't know who to turn to at times...

Alhamdulillah that I am able to witness something humorous and knowledgeable today :)

Hey, I actually am maturing

2011-01-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

فَلَا وَرَبِّكَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ حَتَّىٰ يُحَكِّمُوكَ فِيمَا شَجَرَ بَيْنَهُمْ ثُمَّ لَا يَجِدُوا فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ حَرَجًا مِّمَّا قَضَيْتَ وَيُسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
By your Lord, they will not be true believers until they let you decide between them in all matters of dispute, and find no resistance in their souls to your decision, accepting them totally
[4: 65 النساء (the women)]

never have i want something so much in my life. never have I want someone to acknowledge my decision so much. it hurts. life in dunia really hurts..

Alhamdulillah that Allah has informed me the least punishment in Hell which is the brain bursting up...

Hey, someone had her dream come true on new year!

2011-01-05T12:12:00.000-08:00

وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
Do not lose heart or dispair - if you are true believers you have the upper hand
[3: 139 آل عمران‎ (the family of Imran)]

Selamat pengantin baru, Mijah and Tajus

To the people who have accompanied me and made me less homesick during my sixth form year in united kingdom, I can't ever repay your kindness. The hospitality for letting me stay in your house, feed me till I'm spoiled, picking me up from stations and celebrated with me on my special day, thank you so much :) I wish for your happiness in this world and the Hereafter. May you guys live happily ever after. Amin.

Preview preview~ :D

Alhamdulillah for the rezeki I've been saving all this time so that I'm able to witness my sister historical moment :)

Hey, I actually smell the sweet aroma of bread in my house!

2010-11-13T01:31:00.000-08:00

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا , لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ , رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِنْ نَسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا , رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِنَا , رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ , وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا , أَنْتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability; for it is (the benefit of) what it has earned and upon it (the evil of) what it has wrought: Our Lord! do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake; Our Lord! do not lay on us a burden as Thou didst lay on those before us, Our Lord do not impose upon us that which we have not the strength to bear; and pardon us and grant us protection and have mercy on us, Thou art our Patron, so help us against the unbelieving people.
[2: 286 البقرة (the cow)]

I don't like how when I bake, the cake always sink! Don't sink!! "Sinking cake" is really bad when you wanna make a layer cake :( I remembered baking a white chocolate cake but it sinked too deep!! But I really wanna add the strawberry filling!! So i risked it! Thankfully I add a marshmallow fondant icing to cover any mess.. HEHE! That is technique you see~ ;)

I found out a list where I could have gone wrong when I was baking the cake.. Here is a reminder to me and to others :)

* Butter not at room temperature

* you don't cream the butter until light before adding the sugar

* you throw many things in at the same time

* you don't scrape down the bowl a few times while butter & sugar are creaming

* your eggs are cold when you add them to the butter-sugar light fluffiness

* you add all your eggs at once

* you don't sift your flour and leavening

* you dump all your dries in at once

Ok! Lets hope I can be a better baker by this! :D I read there will be a KEM HIJRAH in London on 10th December but Hau's coming over for the week, I feel guilty leaving her in Newcastle for london but Hau's really sweet, she ask me to go but dunno ah.. Im planning to skip friday lectures to attend this event since I want to use this megabus which will only cost me £23 return!! Isn't that a bargain?!!? BUT!! It's a 7hr journey!! Guess I could bring a good book to read along, I'm so gonna ask Nazi to come along!! HEHE (Hope you're reading this girl :P )

Alhamdullilah for Allah had given me good channels to do me favours, especially today :)

Wassalam.

Hey, I actually am trying

2010-11-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

اهدِنَــــا الصِّرَاطَ المُستَقِيمَ
You alone do we enslave to, and You alone do we seek help from
[1: 6 الفاتحة (the opening)]

Last week has been quite hectic.. Last Wednesday, I had a group 4 gathering at Scalini's quite late at night. I was so lucky to be grouped with Muz and Min! So unlike last year when the NUMed get separated from us, normal full course student. And Ron managed to join us too since he's now our junior! (mixed feeling about this, another year seeing him but yet he could have graduated earlier which he would have wanted..) The taxi driver was really nice! He picked me up first, then I asked him to go to Hunters Road to pick up the guys, then to Claremont Street to pick up Min and FINALLY to Scalini's. To boot, he even gave me a discount! That's fantastic service! Do use Blueline when you're here ;) *advertisement* haha

When we arrived, our place were reserved at the BAR area. It was a bit awkward in the beginning. They (locals) were ordering drinks while we kinda isolate ourselves from them. But during the dinner bit, we were seated at a better area! A much BRIGHTER area! During the dinner, we get to talk more with Sudarshin and Liam. It was so funny! They were so jealous of the NUMed since they have a much CHEAPER house, get a PRIVATE room during clinical session and take all the BEST LECTURERS back to malaysia next year. It's amazing how you can see the discrimination against the NUMed lessen though :) But I don't like how they were so enthusiastic about gory, horror movie!! Especially sudarshin. He kept acting out horror scenes! AAHH!! It's okay. It's only for that night.. and i discovered.. I love RISOTTO!! Especially mushroom risotto~ so nyummy!! x) I miss italian food!

On thursday I was preparing stuffs up for Usrah. Too nervous. Really. Then the following night, was the real thing. Luckily I have a "guinea pig" to test the usrah out haha Luckily I did that so I know what to omit since I don't want the introduction of Usrah to be too intense! Have to miss bonfire night for this but it was worth sacrificing. I'm really happy the night went well! The BNS girls get to mingle well, thanks to the mini ice-breaking session as well. The atmosphere wasn't that tense. It's actually quite relaxing! Especially with Mun giving funny gestures to my speech, Amie butting in if I miss some important point and Ka Nona adding in her point of view. I could see all of them were attentive ('cept for Nadz yang tidur.. haha sal demam panas tu) and react appropriately to what I have to say. It's a nice feeling and it may motivate me to conduct more in the future. and it also shows i didn't speak THAT fast! yes!! haha

On Saturday ada housewarming at Bebs house. Entertaining night! Most of the BNS were there, another chance of socialising and good food :D Ohh muizzah and nazirul planned kami ke Greece sama-sama with the other people in their batch (aka my original batch) but it HAS to be in summer! Summer seems so faraway now.. I don't know what's gonna happen in summer.. I do wanna stay here and spent time with friends who won't be here anymore the next time around I'll be in UK and Nazi pun graduate but.. I miss home. Sian the kids di rumah. I have to go back.

I love this Sunday! Went to Carlisle with "Tom"! haha the town centre is amazing! The hospital and accommodation are to my liking. If all goes well, I'll stay there around this time next year! And Masha Allah, when we were searching for places to eat for lunch. There was this guy gesturing us to come into the restaurant as we were reading the menu from outside. Kami macam "inda dapat lari ni!" so we went in. The guy then showed us to a table and greeted us with "assalamualaikum"! My spirit was lifted immediately! He's really nice, his name is Ahmed. He said if ever I need help, I should go to him and if I need halal meat, I could ask him 2 days before and he'll get it for me for a cheaper price. Coincidence are wonderful! Syukur Alhamdulillah, God has planned us to meet :)

This monday I had another group 12 (my group last year) reunion at another Italian restaurant. I was really REALLY nervous. The only asian. The most shy person in the group. I thought. I'm gonna regret this. But then. Sarah invitedLiza, Qieha and Afdhal (NUMed)!! Cause our group 12 session sometimes involve them as well! SO HAPPY!! I remember jumping the whole way after hearing the news! Hingga Muz cakap "giler" haha biar! The night went really well, I would say much better than Group 4! I miss the atmosphere of Group 12! My negative thinking had make me forgot that they are a really nice bunch and so lively! Olivia (my old study partner) was really sweet, she even remembered Mijah belajar di london! hehe They still pronounced my name "zakayah" haha really cute!

Qieha, Afdhal, me

Lectures or not, we always come first! haha

Will, as always, help hyped up the event. He was seated faraway from the table from me, yet he asked outloud, "when are you gonna bake for us?" or "zakayah, do you wanna share a tiramisu, you love cakes!" I was like "Will, there's alcohol" "No there isn't ..... *baca menu* hmm.. anyone else?" haha he is so comical! The other night at group 4 social (will's in group 4 with me), it was raining. So he used his scarf on his head like in a tudung style of way to cover himself from the rain. Then he was like "OH!! Now I know why you love to wear scarf! They're fantastic for rain" Then he went on saying in a high-pitched voice "I'm a Malaysiaaann, I can now go to Asiaaaa" STUPID!! hahah typical generalisation of malaysians! Thank God Min didn't feel insulted. Anyway, on monday atu, we have to wait for a taxi to go back to fenham. So will kindly invited all of us (me and the NUMeds) to his house while we wait. On the way to his house, me and Qieha found an Iphone 3GS on the road so we picked up and told Will "housewarming gift"! haha baik la, he gave us his homemade ginger cookie which he baked the other day. Sedap la. It was a good night and he's also applying for Carlisle for next year. So might see more of him next year, we'll see~

Today, I had an autopsy!! INSANE! The corpses were FRESH! Direct from freezer! What I won't forget is THE SMELL! It really smell like meat! RAW meat! I could even taste the smell in my mouth, its really icky... And bloodwere pooling inside the lung cavity, even my gloves were soaked in blood! I wouldn't go into details cause it is quite gory but we seen 3 bodies being cut up and sewn back up like normal. The demonstrator/consultant, Nigel Kirkham, showed us the procedure of a post morterm examination. It's amazing how he can deduce the cause of death from the body. Ada this body, this guy had dirty toenails. Ia tanya what do you think is the cause of? I said diabetes sal his nails. He said no. He said he can tell the man has a caring wife cause if you see carefully, only his nails are black, indicating he didn't have a poor hygiene. In fact, he vomitted black fluid before his death which fell on his feet. Then his wife cleaned up the mess for him. So. so. COOL! Macam a detective!! tapi i dont wanna be like him! sal! the smell...

It got me thinking though. Eventhough all of the bodies had a different appearance, once you remove all the skins, all of them looked the same. What is the use of discriminating others by their front when we're all similar creature. It made me think of the afterlife. It further reinforce that sentence how "in the eyes of God, we are all equal".. I saw the dead bodies with removed organs.. They seem to be in a deep slumber. Yet a day will come when they will be resurrected again and be on trial. I fear for that day. So I must realised now. Alhamdulillah God exposed me before its too late...

Ok. I think I should stop. It's getting too long... haha maybe my longest post so far! But a new mission! For every surah I finished reading the translation, type up the ayat which struck me the most and blogged anything under it! From this i can see my progress :) and finished all the blog posts with something I'm grateful about. OK, lets start now!

Alhamdulillah for I was given a warm jacket to withstand the cold weather here

Wasallam

Hey, I just keep trying

2010-11-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

My fellow green team [Picah, me, Kat, Khausar, Raheel, Kavish]

Wow! This must be my second post since I reached Newcastle. Well, to summarise, I enjoy it so far. Last year was full of uncertainties. Will I fit in here? With my housemates? Bruneians? My coursemate? Can I be independent? Alhamdulillah. This year. Those worries are gone (or shall i say minimal..)

I tried to move away from being pessimist and strive to try something new every time! And!! I'm actually invited to my ex-groupmate outing!! Well. I know it sounds sad. But. It really means a lot to me! :) I thought they looked at me as this "shy stammering short asian" and won't care less about me. But hey, I'm glad that wasn't totally correct!

Of course being too motivated isn't always a good thing. I can't always do everything but I really wish I can.. That said, I always forget to remember that life here is temporary and that the after life. The life that I sought for is much much better than this. Frankly speaking I can't imagine how it can be. That's why I'm striving for it!

I can finally say. I'm glad I chose newcastle. With nice house (clean kitchen and bathroom are a must!!), lovely housemates, awesome friends, great islamic exposure, amazing environment. I couldn't ask for more. This became more clear to me in Leeds. To that one person especially. Thank you. Though the weather can be a pain but every time after I sleep I feel satisfied knowing I survived the day. And pray to God, I can survive the next ordeal again the next day :)

Wasallam.

Hey, I am actually glowing

2010-09-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

I realized.

Countless hours and money were spent.

I have been lectured.

But they are all worth it just to see that one special, awkward smile.

I love baking!! Hehe!

I have a feeling this would be a good year for me. Being a senior does feel weird but its nice when people look up to you. But I think its weirder to actually be in the committee. Being an MP doesn't count since we're just the labour.. right Hau? :P

Resolution for this semester! Pre-lectures reading. Pro-notes taking. Pro-lectures revising. So far so good! Attending Islamic events. Finish reading quran translation. Stay in library (maybe after winter... freezing cold!). Less baking. More cooking. (there is a diff right?) Save money for ____ :D :D

Now I wanna wish Nazi a safe flight!

Nazi! A safe flight!

I don't know movie apa di airplane cause di airplane I was occupied for the whole 16hours? haha nada sky brochure wa! See you soooon :)

Hey, I actually feel like flying!

2010-08-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

This is my 100th post and I would like to say

Always Alhamdulillah.
There is reward (hasanaat), and thus eternal good (khair), in every circumstance eventhough it may seem there is nothing good.
Since Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) is responsible for all the good that comes to us we thank and praise Him by saying and feeling “Alhamdulillah” in all circumstances.

Alhamdulillah.

Thank you for giving me a chance to redeem myself and

giving me a wonderful family and amazing friends

to support me.

I feel like crying.

Haha.

Hey, I actually am imagining this.. right?

2010-08-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Masha Allah, how beautiful are Allah's creations :)

The steady beat
That stays unchanging
In an ever-changing world
In all of us
It pulses and thrives
It lives and gives life
Though differences may separate us,
It is the sameness of life
That unites
A harmony of a thousand heartbeats
All in unison
Sound at once
And never tire
Then
are my heart palpitations that
beat faster, faster, faster

than they ever beat before

are mere muffling sounds among the rest?

That was a weak ending but.. I don't know.. anyway! Ramadhan's coming!! Now I feel my summer holiday is really coming to an end. Didn't get to meet much of my old friends cause of netball and assignments and trips.. But hey, its still fun! Get to experience new stuffs this year, never did I imagine I will get heavily involved in sports! Or find myself questioning the strength of my faith. Or attend a close friend's engagement party. Or dare myself to lead a trip for my younger siblings. Or handling a sleepover without my parents. Or mingle with the adults easily. Or cooking almost everyday. Or witness a pretty sunset. Or attend a cake decorating class. Or playing less games than usual. Or sleeping peacefully finally...

Well these are among those that I achieved. I'll probably post some pics next time. 1 picture = 1000 words :) YES!! INDA PAYAH LAGI TYPE!! Hahaha typo bagi nalih wa.. :(

hey, i actually am cleaning my room

2010-08-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

On 12th May 2010, FIJI MUSLIM LEAGUE has revealed the following:

That all KELLOGG'S® FRUIT SNACKS contain GELATINE which is derived from PORK and/or BEEF
That PORK GELATINE is used in Kellogg's® Marshmallow Froot Loop Cereal, Kellogg's Smorz ® Cereal, Kellogg's® Rice Krispies Treats® Squares and Special K® Protein Snack Bars
That BEEF GELATINE is used in Kellogg's® Frosted Pop-Tarts®, Kellogg's® Frosted Mini-Wheats® Cereal and Kellogg's® Rice Krispies Treats cereal

As such, please avoid these foods as it clearly stated in the Holy Qur'an in Surah Al-Baqarah Ayat 168 "... eat of what is on the earth lawful and good.."

farewell rice krispies..

Ashabul Kahfi

2010-08-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

[writing to make me remember]

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said "Prophet Muhammad SAW, We shall tell you their story (members of Kahfi) as it really was. They were young men who believed in their Lord, and We gave them more and more guidance."

Verses in the Surah tells how seven (the figure is questionable) young men who believe in Allah fled to a cave to escape from an evil ruler and God made them sleep for 309 Islamic years (300 Gregorian years) to the point they couldn't be woken up by any sounds during those periods.

When they woke up, one of them went out to buy food and only realised they were in the wrong era as their money were not accepted by the merchants. Thus the young man returned to the cave and then by God's will, all the young men died in the cave.

From what I can understand, the moral of the story was the courage and determination of these teens to fight against the ideals of the cruel ruler, who worshipped idols and killed anyone against it, to continue their beliefs to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Also, it shows how we will be revived after death upon God's will.

Hmm I just came across this word Ashabul Kahfi among the piles of papers I found in my room. So I googled it up.. So embarrassing. How can I not know of this tale? It's a tale mentioned in the Holy Qur'an. Ahh~ I have so many stuffs to do over this holiday. Alhamdulillah Ramadhan is coming so I can "top-up" my iman and knowledge. Need to finish reading the complete translation of Holy Qur'an and the tales of Muhammad SAW. I don't want to convey any wrong information to my future listeners.. Ahhh panick panick.

Let us remain truly conscious of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Perform all His orders and refrain from all His prohibitions. Let us understand and truly internalise the noble values and principles of Islam. This understanding will help us ensure that all we do as a Muslim will be in accordance with the teachings of Islam. With that, we hope to gain the mercy and pleasure of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

Anyhow, I really wanna see this cave. Such a fantasised name. Cave of Seven Sleepers. Now I really wanna visit Turkey :) Someday. Insya Allah

Hey, I actually ..

2010-07-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.
-Joe Lewis-

Aren't they the cutest? <3

Then again, imagine if you see these packs going your way exactly

looking the way it is in the picture..

Not a pleasant thought.

Sitting straight is actually bad for backs.

Apparently, the "slouch" position revealed a reduction in spinal disk height,

signifying a high rate of wear and tear on the lowest two spinal levels.

(And that's how my height is as it is now.. years of gaming = years of slouch.. :'( )

Anyhow, should public places now offer this type of chairs?

HELL YEAH ahaha

Alhamdulillah

Hey, I am actually eatiiiiing bananananana

2010-07-05T06:56:00.001-07:00

A week ago, I noticed we have loads of over-riped bananas in our fruit shelves! So what better use of them than to use them in a dessert before they got eaten by ants right?

So! Me and Ifah worked together at 9pm to make this!!

BLACKBOTTOM BANANA BAR! (inspired from asoutherngrace)

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
3 mashed ripe bananas
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup baking cocoa
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

METHOD
1) Preheat oven to 180C. Grease a 13x9-inch pan.
2) In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar. Add the egg, vanilla, and bananas and beat until thoroughly combined.
3) In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add this to creamed mixture and mix well. Divide the batter in half.
4) Add the whole cocoa to one half, blend well, and spread the cocoa half into the prepared pan first.
5) Spoon the remaining batter on top. Sprinkle with the chocolate chips. Bake for 30 minutes or until the bars test done. Cool completely before cutting.

What better combination than banana and chocolate? :D Mine was a bit undercooked, I think it's caused I used the wrong flour.. I accidentally used.. potato flour... it tasted.. okay still. But no. Don't follow!

Alhamdulliah~

Hey, I am actually going to reflect for a moment..

2010-07-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

"If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish"
-Sam Walton-

I don't know why.. But whenever I think of the upcoming semester, I suddenly have the sudden urge to read books from my dad's library.

"The art of making people listen"

"100 ways to motivate others."

These are just some of the books that I have flicked through. From what I read.. I know what I lacked. Confidence. Striving. Conscientiousness.

I feel I still haven't done much to reassure myself that I can be someone dependable. Someone who can be entrusted with human lives. Someone respectable, at least. This caused a cascading effect. I no longer strive to be the best anymore. Getting average score seems alright so far. What happen to my competitive drive in primary school? High school? College? Did it disappear gradually as I went to the medicine course?

Medicine. I couldn't deny. It changed my perspective a lot. When I first stepped into the building, I was confident that I could chalk up another great achievement in my record. I have never been so wrong in my life. How could I have been so cocky? How could I shine among these sea of people who also gained my score during A level? These people are the creams of the cake.

Of course I did somehow thought about this before. But what reassured me then was that I went through my high school fine and did fairly well in my sixth form college in UK. How can I falter now? Well. What I forgot, is that statistics that I discovered a year ago. About how only 40% of medical applicants actually got in. I didn't delve deeper into it. Like why the rigorous elimination process of medical applicants? Don't we all need more doctors?

I see it now. The pressure you encountered in this course is nothing you have felt before. Even for me. A person who is rarely stressed. A person who just follows the flow of life. A person who never work so hard in life (this is before i came across medicine of course). They weren't kidding when they wanted to add a health caution next to medicine course in UCAS website. Not only is the course mentally demanding, it is also psychologically demanding.

In this course. You have family expectations, friends, your tutors, lecturers, future colleagues and of course your future, countless patients. During the first week I reached Newcastle, the workload was manageable. But as the weeks passed by, the works keep piling up. The lectures, practicals, presentations, assignments, patients shadowing, further book readings.. It is endless. The syllabus is limitless. So many times have I fell down during this first year into the course. So many times I felt I can't make it. So many times I picked myself up after I stumbled.. It is so tiring..

I still remember.. after my final exams have ended, a friend told me. "I can't imagine doing all this again for another year, and the next, and the next. I don't think I can handle this anymore.. is medicine really for me? Can I be a good doctor?" What he said struck me. Of course I tried to give him words of reassurance. But at that time, it felt more like I'm trying to reassure myself. Can I be a good doctor? Will I ever be one? Will I reach it?

I don't really know what is my point in writing all this now. But I know that I'm reading these books to help make me a better leader. That is one of the qualities of a good doctor. I know confidence is one of the main assets of a leader. I am lacking that now but I hope from today on, my confidence will build up bit by bit.

I know I'm not alone in this. Family and friends and of course, God, will always be there to catch me when I fall. For me to achieve this far.. I am truly grateful. I wish I can be a stronger person in the future. That I would read this post back in the future and laugh at my inconfidence and stupidity.. And be embarrassed on why the heck did I post this haha. As a reminder maybe? Well.. May that future come soon enough.

Every day when I wake up, I think.. "how do I live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?"

This will be my motivation.

Too much rambling!! ah well.

Praise to Allah :)

Hey, I'm smiling way more now than before

2010-06-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Have you guys ever heard of jumong??

It's not what you think it is.. It is not a Korean drama...

It is....

THIS!!

Look at the eyes.. don't you feel your soul being sucked in...?

Everyday, every night.. this thing is always up there.. on the bookshelf.. staring down at unknowing people.. quacking away...

nadawah. that was just an inside joke. haha

tapi berijap jua!! before it was like this!!

now it's... you know....

It goes like this.. a friend texted me about jumong. I felt it sounded familiar so..

Me: Nabil tau apa jumong?
Nab: JUON KA?
Me: MANADA! Ipah! Babu liat cerita jumong kan?
Ipah: Siapa mau liat cerita Juon atu kan!
Me: INDA!! JU-MONG WA! *nazi datang* Naz! Apa jumong?
Nazi: entah, tapi macam cerita hantu...
Me: ... eh cuba kamu liat atu... *the choc-duck atas bookshelf* matanya macam lain saja...
Nazi: Banar jua ah! Bergali jua!
Me: JUMONG!
*semua orang lari dari the duck*

.... that was the birth of jumong.. haha pointless I know.. but I feel memories like this are priceless.. silly but memorable. But fact: that choc-duck was actually from 2 years ago!! I bought that masa Easter 2008.. I gave Ifah to EAT! But she (& mom) thought it's a FIGURINE!! So.... bangas kan tu? Semut yang makan atu pun mati wa.. haha so now it's in the trash bin :( death of jumong...

Sepatutnya ada return though.. since my mom saw it in a trash and was about to put it back on the table near Ipah's bed.. but Nazi stopped her! Good job!! Imagine Ipah's horror if she woke up to see "Jumong" next to her bed.. On second thought.. Don't even think about it...

Hey, I actually went away again!

2010-06-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

Singapore was AWESOME!! :D :D :D Love the clean environment, friendly people, rich culture, almost-like-japan scene, easy transport, visitor-friendly facilities and of course, FOOOOOOODD!!!

But being there made me miss Brunei! It's not as easy to find halal food there as it is in Brunei. Not everything is halal. But no fret! I made researches on best place to dine there way way before 8D (masa my medicine exam.. :D ha. ha.. i'm serious..)

But I know I gained weight every day I stayed there.. I mean most of the time we just went to food places.. You'll see what I mean when I posted the pics..

DAY 1

Before our departure to Singapore,
Judin tukang gambar 8D

Sampai di Changi Airport at T2
So greeeen :D

Travelled around Orchard Road and explored Scape
Banyak kedai in "box"

We found kedai "once upon a milkshake"
the menu is so cute! I love the desk design too!

We paid only 70c for the milkshakes with our conjoined $5 coupons!

There was a Japan food fair at Takashimaya Shopping Complex starting from 7th June to 11th June! So lucky!!

Nabil's Takoyaki from Tako Pochi! Nabil cakap lagi sadap dari Brunei's!

Delicious Cream Puff from Beard Papa's

Ifah's favourite dessert stop! Mochi Ice cream from Beard Papa's!

Nabil eating his Chocolate-filled Taiyaki

Best Fish & Chips I have tasted so far!!
Crispy yet not too oily!! Yummm~~

Ipah's favourite cake, Strawberry Shortcake

Found this at Kinokuniya..
Macam ironic saja haha

We were just taking picture of the smiley doughnuts..
but the guy in the pic told us "its not halal"
but we didn't even wanna buy! haha

Unaju!! The sauce is uber nyummy!

Hmmmmmm.. I continue the other days hari lain.. banyak gambarnya!! internet pun.. sedih!

[future ref: 1042 1046 1056 1057 1058 1063 1064 1065 1076 1084 1091 1100 1103 1107 1112 1118 4334 4353 4366 4374 4379 4384 4394 4389 4456 4463]

hey, i'm missing my family :)

2010-05-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Mommy mommy mommy, how i love you so, you'll be my source of inspiration as I'm going through this difficult times. Will always wanna make you smile and laugh as you think of all my efforts for you

Mommy mommy mommy, please wait for me :)

Daddy daddy daddy, you've become such an important man that you've become a real idol for me to follow. A religious and a highly successful man and yet continue to be humble still. I'll do my best to make mommy smile on your behalf when you leave for Oman on her birthday [:

hey, i'm actually am in track, i think! i hope! yes!!

2010-05-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'M FEELING SO HIGH!! I think it's caused of my CNI Ginseng Milk Tea, or was it because of Amie's hospitality or was it because I finally understood the lipoprotein topic? Whatever it is, I think I can continue reading on 39 more topics today!

I put gambar family as my desktop wallpaper to further keep me going :D Hopefully I feel like this too for the real exams! ALSO! I just printed off my flight ticket! AND! When I feel down, I just have to think of my family back home! Soon I'll be back.. Soon.... Images of me travelling around Singapore with my younger siblings are becoming more and more vivid! Can't wait for 7th of June!!

I love my family! <3

Alhamdulillah x)

hey, i actually am going insane!!

2010-05-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

THIS IS CRAAAZZZYYY!!! INSAAANNEE!! WHY AM I MEMORISING THE NAME OF DRUGS?!! I FEEL LIKE IM DOING PHARMACOLOGY INSTEAD OF MEDICINE!!! I FEEL LIKE IM STUDYING FOR TWO EXAMS!! PHARMACOLOGY + MEDICINE!!!!!! I SHOULD BE GETTING DOUBLE DEGREE!!

Even if I study about 10hr/day for a month, its still NOT ENOUGH to finish the syllabus for this whole year! That's why I'm settling for about >15hrs/day :) Still not enough.... GAAAHHH!!!

The thing that motivates me is my family, home :( Listening to the song "forever - chris brown" kept me strong

it's like i'm waiting my whole life for this one night.... cause we get only one night to double your pleasure..

:'(

Hey, I actually don't want to leave UK that early

2010-05-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm packing. Seriously packing halfway. Cleaning up my room. I don't know why. I found myself in the verge of tears as I went along. Hearing sad songs doesn't really help, does it? My exams are soon. The date when I left is not too far off either. I should be happy I finally reach Brunei quite early. Somehow. I'm not. It's probably because I'm leaving UK way too early. Too early that I couldn't fully rejoice the end of my exams. Too early that I couldn't make any summer memories with my housemates. Having a final dinner outing with them today helped a bit. It was great fun. I'll miss it. Definitely. I know my reason to leave early is highly valid. But I keep feeling I'm betraying them. I wonder. When I leave Newcastle.. Will they see me off at the airport? Will the rest of the society join too? Am I of that importance yet? Or am I just another fleeting memory... I don't mind. Really... I just have to hold my head up high. Steering my way through this short life of mine. Hoping to please my loved ones and my Creator. Amin. Three weeks to go. Not a countdown which I'm really looking forward to...

hey, I actually am not even ON TRACK!!

2010-04-16T20:29:00.001-07:00

2 more days till my holidays end. 2 more weeks till my study leave start.. 5 weeks till my exam starts. Time is really ticking away.. I have to study!! GAAHH!! I made a LOVELY timetable of what I'm gonna do EVERYDAY.

the lovely timetable~

So far.. I failed. Miserably. It's really not too late to keep on track but I'm so distracted!! Not only with sleep and manga but also with events like usrah or BNS stuffs :( I keep finding reasons why I can't study, it's INSANE! I could have even written a book about all my excuses!!

Last night, birthday si Bebs! I went there for the whole night. Her birthday theme was purple so me and Far ended up going to town in the afternoon to buy extra stuffs to go with our clothes.. So the day was wasted. Well, not really la, I won in one of the games during the birthday! :D Then again.. I think it was rigged.. No wonder I feel so calm throughout the game. Basically the game was "pass the parcel". One who holds the parcel when the music stops has to be eliminated. It seems like a fair game BUT the one who stops the song, controls the game sal ia liat orang masa dorang pasing the parcel. She even said "aku target sapa keluar ni"! AHH! So I'm left with the most likely candidate. Overhyped reaction from the audience. Got asked one of the most embarrassing questions ever existed. No reply. More overhyped reaction. Ah well, at least I got the chocolate gift!!

Purple birthday! :D

Today I was so sakai to make begedil daging guna japanese breadcrumb panko, for the usrah slash picnic. So I did make it.. Which took me about 2 hours (Darn potatoes took ages to soften, now I feel Peach's pain >:[ ) Hingga dorang Amal, Bibi, Tiqah, Nisah and Nadz came by and help ani wa! Haha macam kilang banar pulang rasanya, banyak diupah! We had usrah di Nunsmoor park. Nice day la, just don't like the fact how the sun is there but as perhiasan saja sal the warmth is not really there. The wind was obviously there instead!!

Anyway, kami usrah pasal mengumpat, talking behind people's backs, backstabbing somewhere along those lines. It was said "your sin will not be forgiven by God until the one whom you complained about forgives you" It's not just that, the sin of mengumpat is much worse than pre-marital intercourse! Also, those who you "bitched" about actually takes away your blessings (pahala)! Letsay you ran out of all your blessing to give to that person, then now you'll take away their "dosa" to yourself! Isn't that painful? Do you wanna see the person whom you talked about to take away all your good efforts in this world and may take away your place in heaven? That's a bad way to conclude it but that's the main point. Do you wanna waste 10seconds talking bad things about someone just to make you feel better and walk through the hellfire in the hereafter? That's something to think about...

Man.. I think I've just dealt with some heavy stuff. Sorry. Anyway, yalah tadi sibuk jua. Esuknya ani, ada event di rumah 24 masa malam. Parents Deco datang so they're making satays and I'm thinking of making macarons! See how easy I'm distracted? But I'm so tempted to make them! I'm so hopeless.. Lusa lagi ada party for Aidah masa petang.. I wanna bake her a white chocolate cake~ SEE?! THERE I GO AGAIN! Making time for others but not myself!! THIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED!!

I'll stop by this week! But next week birthday Amie.. That's it. It's over!!! AHHHH!!!

I NEED MY STRESS REDUCTION KIT!!!

Much better~~

(kidding! )

Hey, I actually can't think much now...

2010-03-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am dense. Really dense. It takes about 9 people to convince me what I've been denying for the past month and that probably includes 4 months before as well. Tomorrow is the big day. The Notts game, yet I couldn't sleep. I'm devoted to baking. Aidah told everyone I'm making something and I don't really wanna go back on it. It's not in any way Aidah's fault, I mean even without her announcing it, I still wanna make something for my team :]

I pray to God that I can concentrate tomorrow and NOT let my team down. Being GS is a great deal. I have to score every ball my team gave me. I mean they done the work bringing the ball from the enemy, it is my (and Nadz) job to make sure we done our part too!

Key points:

1) Don't let the GK go in front of you, go in front of GK!

2) Ask for the ball! Give sign!

3) If you can't go in front of the GK, ask for the ball behind and be ready to jump!

4) Make V-sign near the goal post! Who cares about how hideous you may look!

5) Don't gesel-gesel to the GK! Don't let them know what I'm doing!

6) Be agile! Feint if gesel-gesel atu!

7) If can't escape from GK, be a bait and get her away from the goal post!

8) Don't forget the existance of WA/C!

9) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THE BALL! OUTSTRETCH HAND FOR THE BALL!

10) CAREFUL PIVOTING!

I think that's enough points for now! I'm eating too much now. I don't care now. It's carbohydrate loading, as quoted from Hau. haha. Amin there will be no regrets tomorrow and no injuries! Please don't let me think too much! It is only tomorrow that I can show how much I've learn for this past few weeks! Other stuffs can wait especially if that stuff is truly my destiny. or watever. lalalala

On and out

Alhamdullilah :]

Hey, I'm full...

2010-03-13T15:19:00.001-08:00

I want a tablecloth like this!

It will turn to the colour of the liquid spilled. So kalau tumpah, it's okay, it adds to the artistic design of the table ;D

L to R: Ka Nona, Dex, me, Amie

Tadi birthday Dex di restaurant Reza! Nyaman the lamb shank! So soft! The actual name of the food is berghali polo. MISLEADING namanya ah! :P

Yay, I've done 4000words on my assignment! Woo!! But now the problems lie in cutting the words down to 3250 words and I actually have to write a self reflection of 600 words as well... Banyak editting ni.. Have to finish by tonight! Hope it won't affect my netball practice tomorrow.

Adakah our netball group name is BNS FC.. Haha kudos to Tiqah who pointed it out. FC = Football club jua!! (BNS = Brunei Newcastle Society) If orang tanya, we'll just say FC as fanclub. Bawa pompoms and pakai skirts masa main. Ha ha ha.

I'm so happy today 'cause my group mates actually contacted me :) I really thought I was the black sheep in the group (since I'm the only Asian and I never attend any social events since drinking is always involved..) This may sound pathetic but even by just hearing them uttering my name can makes me smile goofily. I mean Zakiah IS a hard name to pronounce for locals here, it is not even memorable. Cali when I hear them pronounce it as Za-kay-yah instead. Hehe

Ada lagi this time, I went to a GP clinic with my project partner, Olivia. We were looking at this list of doctors-in-charge. Then she was the one who pointed it out, "Look zakiah, your dad's name is on the list!" Rupanya at the end of the list was "Dr Ismail" Even I didn't realise that! I couldn't stop smiling to myself during that clinic visit. Aaaaiii atupun~

By the way.. NAZI KURANG ASAM!! She said her friend said I look like I grown thinner (hehe) Then Nazi cakap on that night her friend told her, she dreamt I was thin! Then Nazi marah "I wasted a dream on you! ARGH!" Dude! I'm the one who's supposed to go ARGH! It's not a waste! At all!!

Hey, I can't stop doing useless stuff!

2010-03-12T13:26:00.000-08:00

See this

I think this pic is funny. BANAR! Tapi lagi cali comment my malaysian friend, Muz, wa:

What is this lalah?
So ridiculous!
Why are all the speech bubble about lalah?
What is this? "Lulul lalah?!"

CALI HAHA Kasian orang malaysian ani. Basically the album is in facebook, entitled netball lalah. Stress wa ia tarus. Haha.

Lalah?! Isn't it LELAH?! You bruneians...

Oh yesterday I attended an islamic talk by Yusha Evans who was previously a Christian Youth Minister but converted to Islam. It is amazing, masha Allah. He was talking about his personal journey to find the right religion.

Basically Yusha (previously known as Joshua) is a perfectionist. He doesn't like the fact how the Bible isn't consistent, how the contents change over the years, how the prophets who are chosen are not perfect (In the Bible, Noah was a drunkard, Solomon committed adultery etc) He went through a lot searching for the truth, even getting himself involved in a gunshot incident! The ending how he finally embraced Islam is really touching (and funny!) I was teary at the end. I regretted not recommending other people to listen to him. He's an inspiration. Masha Allah..

Even non-muslims were shaken up by his story. I remember there was this particular British woman who cried at the end. Asking if this is the truth she was searching for... She already asked for an appointment with one of the Islamic sisters for more clarification about Islam :) Also.. there was this Christian woman.. During the Q&A session, she said "Josh.. I am very very sorry. I apologize. I'm sorry" Maaan, she sounded as if she's gonna burst anytime soon! She felt bad how Josh left her religion (macam murtad agamanya la) and to her, she felt it was because he had a misconception of Christianity. Even after the Q&A session, they were still debating! The girl was trying to convince him that the Bible is right and he's misleading us, the audience. The girl studied theology I think.. She knew a lot about Islam as well. The terms used were quite confusing: messiah, gospel, testaments, trinity...

Ah well.. Check this out if you wanna hear him. Personally I think the speech I heard from him is much much greater than this, banyak cerita dah ia modify to make it more accessible to the general public and he added more humour ^^

ARHG!! I seriously need to go back on track!! MONDAY DUE DATE WA!! Drill THAT in the head!! Seriously!! I can't fail this.. Come on.. If I fail this.. I fail the year! No way that's happening! No way am I returning here in August! AIM to finish 3250 words by today!! OR ELSE!! FAILURE!!

A useless fact I found today... Mukamu ku boleh jadi warna purple! Waaaa haha sian ih. almost same colour as my tudong..

Quote of the day:
Nearly all the best things that came in life have been unexpected, unplanned..
because there were simply no expectations

Hey, I can't stop smirking keke

2010-03-11T04:59:00.001-08:00

Facebook is such a... time hole... I won't say it's a waste, I mean you do get updates of your family and friends, get to keep in touch but.. sometimes I think.. it's a wise move (kudos to that person!) to delete an FB account. I read about a study (not sure if it is reliable) that shows how internet addicts are more depressing than drug addicts. One of the claims is based on how SAD we look, gluing to the monitor, clicking links which doesn't really benefit us.

The next picture says everything

HAHAHA

nadawah, i said all those stuffs to show this picture

but anyhow..

Moral of the day: You never know what the technology

is capable of doing now :D

One thing to show before I continue with my pregnancy assignment!

I found this bittersweet~

Sweet sal they managed to stay together after 500years

Bitter sal.. i mean.. really... don't they look like they're

hugging for their life?

I rest my case. Assalamualaikum :)

Hey, I think I finally up on my feet, ready to run :)

2010-03-03T17:06:00.001-08:00

Bapa cute!!! Hahahahahaha random googling

make me found this! Aww~ xD

Now onward to foodblog!

Next recipe is

Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake

The cake is very VERY rich!! But if you're a chocoholic, this cake is a defo must-have! xD Wish I could show how a slice of cake looks like but the picture is with another friend :( This cake was made for maulud nabi celebration! I think I'm gonna be an official newcastlian baker, whereby I bake for every ocassion (that is if I have no work.. Heck, I always find time for baking, destress!!)

By the way! This cake used MAYONNAISE!! Its not as scary as it sounds, it's really good! In a way, the mayonnaise replaces butter (always a necessary item in baking a moist cake), egg whites (known for giving cakes a fluffy lift) and vinegar (a natural preservative). So you end up having a super moist and fluffy (calorie bomb) cake!

(Inspired from the book Sky High Irresistible Layer Cakes by Alisa Huntsman and Peter Wynne)
Ingredients: Cake Sponge Cake
2 ¼ cups all purpose flour
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 ¼ tsp baking soda
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp ground cinnamon
71g unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup milk
1 ¼ cups hot, strongly brewed coffee
2 eggs
1 cup mayonnaise (not low fat or fat free)
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
2 ¼ cups sugar

1] Preheat the oven to 180'C. Butter the bottoms and sides of three 9 inch round cake pans (Note: or reuse one cake pan thrice). Dust the sides with flour. Line the base of each pan with parchment.

2] Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Set aside.

3] Put the chocolate in a large heatproof bowl. Bring the milk to a simmer. Pour the hot coffee and milk over the chocolate. Let stand for a minute, then whisk until smooth. Let the mocha liquid cool slightly.

4] In a mixer bowl, beat together the eggs, mayonnaise and vanilla until well blended. Gradually beat in the sugar. Add the dry ingredients and mocha liquid alternately in 2 additions (i.e. dry + mocha + dry + mocha), beating until smooth and well blended. Divide the batter among the 3 prepared pans.

5] Bake for 25 to 28 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out almost clean. Let the cakes cool in their pans for 10-15 minutes before un-molding and carefully peeling off the paper. Leave to cool completely.

White Chocolate Mousse
114g white chocolate, chopped
1 cup heavy cream
1 egg white
1 tbsp sugar

1] Melt the white chocolate with ¼ cup cream in a double boiler. Whisk until smooth. Remove from the heat and let the white chocolate cream cool to room temperature.

2] When it has cooled, beat the remaining ¾ cup cream until soft peaks form. In a clean bowl whip the egg white with the sugar until fairly stiff peaks form.

3] Fold the beaten egg white into the white chocolate cream, then fold in the whipped cream until blended. Be sure not to over mix

Sour Cream Chocolate Icing (note: there will be some leftover but doesnt matter, it is so so tasty :9)
342g bittersweet or semi sweet chocolate, chopped
1 stick (114g) unsalted butter
2 tbsp light corn syrup or honey
¼ cup half-and-half at room temperature or ¼ cup whole milk plus ½ tbsp melted unsalted butter
½ cup sour cream, at room temperature

1] Melt the chocolate with the butter and corn syrup in a double boiler over barly simmering water. Remove from the heat and whisk until smooth.

2] Whisk in the half-and-half and sour cream. Use while still soft.

To Assemble
Place one layer, flat side up, on a serving plate. Cover the top evenly with half the white chocolate mousse, leaving a about 0.5cm margin around the edge. Repeat with the second layer and the remaining mousse. Set the third layer on top and pour half the sour cream chocolate icing over the filled cake. Spread all over the sides and top. Don’t worry if some of the cake shows through. This first frosting is to seal in the crumbs, and is known as a crumb coat. Refrigerate the cake for 30 minutes.

After this time cover the cake with the rest of the icing, smoothing it down the sides. It should be the consistency of mayonnaise. Use a palette knife or the back of a spoon to swirl the frosting around the cake.

Hey, I just slept the whole afternoon away!

2010-02-18T14:07:00.000-08:00

Ahh.. I have really wasted the day away. Sleeping.. (Probably trying to avoid continuing doing my old habit..) I mean I did do my share of work but it's not enough.. Will continue later.. Tomorrow Kath's coming over :D Finally! Have to tidy room! Will I have time.. Oh no.. Hope I can impress her about Newcastle, show her why I chose Newcastle over London! (apart from money of course :P)

Now onwards to my first food blogpost! Here goes!

Chocolate Cheese Mousse Cake

This recipe is for those without ovens! (nudge hau and peach xP) but freezer is essential!

Ingredients

Crust

120g biscuits (up to your preference, oreo, digestives, I used choc chip cookies)

70g butter (melted)

Cheese Layer

250g cream cheese (soft)

120g castor sugar (substitute with plain sugar if don’t have but with a lesser amount)

2 cookies (or oreo or digestives depending on your crust)

150g whipping cream

1 ½ tbsp gelatin

80ml full cream milk

Chocolate Mousse

250g whipping cream

1tbsp vanilla extract

1tbsp gelatin (mixed with 6tbsp hot water)

50g cocoa powder + 80g icing sugar

1tbsp Nescafe + 1 ½ tbsp hot water

evaporated/condensed sugar (if you want it to be sweeter)

Chocolate Ganache

35g cocoa powder

50g sugar

150g whipped cream

80g dark chocolate

30g butter

(Please be warned that I’m using half the ingredients when I’m making this as I have a 10cm heart-shaped pan. I made two cakes)

My heart cake tin

Crust

Crush the cookies (or your choice of base) to small pieces. I used mortar and pestle. Then mixed with the melted butter.

Cover your pan with this to be used as the base for the cake. Put in the fridge to harden.

Cheese layer

Beat castor sugar and cream cheese together till smooth. Crush cookies to small pieces and add to the mixture along with whipping cream.

Add gelatin and full cream milk into a pan. Heat till gelatin dissolves. Then add to the cheese mixture.

Add to the cookie crust. Place in freezer till cheese is hard (at least 2 hours in the fridge)

Chocolate Mousse

Beat whipping creamy for a minute then add the rest of the ingredients. Continue beating till smooth. Pour mousse on top of cheese layer and place inside freezer

Chocolate Ganache

Add everything inside a heat-proof bowl for double boil. Cook till ganache thicken. (I love seeing them melt and all the colour mixtures!)

Cool first before pouring on top of the mousse. Put inside freezer again

After 3 hours, it becomes like this

Collecting lots of icicle inside the freezer eventhough I clingfilm-ed it..

Let it stay at room temperature for a while (for it to soften) then serve! It's like an icecream cake!

Enjoy :D

Hey, I actually think I can do it!

2010-02-17T14:54:00.000-08:00

UTADA's CONCERT WAS THE BOMB!!

Masa liat Utada, me and Nazi depan. Now Im so thankful kami damit! Utada is so funkily cute! Her hair, her face, her clothes.. She really changed!! Ada some bits she went emo about her not liking sunny places and preferring cloudy days, but hey she is still amazing. Her english was so fluent! I couldn't believe it was her.. That was until I heard her sang lagu sanctuary! Bagi teriak. Me and Nazi were screaming like "this is the real thing!! Kingdom hearts!!" Haaah, if only Mijah, Nab sama Ifah were there too :( I just remembered!! Haha Hikky (nickname Utada) was saying she love london and wanted to stay there. Tarus ada orang cakap, "you can stay at my place!" Hahaha talur!! Masa balik rumah, Mijah baik masak pasta di rumah untuk Far and Nazi. You'll make a good housewife Miji!

Utada's stage

Iski people waiting for concert

Iski Nazi before concert

Iski Far before concert

Next day, went off around 8.30 to shock a certain singaporean in South Ken. Circle line was down so I reached there about an hour later. No kidding! Kath picked me up at the entrance and we prepared the cake. Chao was so funny and cute. She was like.. this must be a dream. Fell asleep. So me and Kath were just standing there holding the cake. Staring at her. Waiting for her to wake up. She was so happy. Its time like this I feel its all worthwhile but of course I will do it for chao anyway. I feel bad for not coming the week after since.. it is chao!!

*poke* IT'S NOT ONE OF YOUR WEIRD DREAMS!

I love these roommates x)

Then cousin Sam was coming over. Decreasing my time together with them :( Haha nada la, siuk jua sama Sam, i do owe him one. Went to bella Italia for his lunch. Weird wa. We sat at the couple table tapi kami cousin (the next day valentines day lagi tu..) It was nice talking to him, catching up all times and cousin-bonding? He acts like a gentleman, I give him that :P

After that, kan celebrate birthday Hau di C&R. When I went in, there was three tables of bruneians wa!! Our table is at the end. Rupanya the two tables are for Hakimah's birthday! I was like.. "that's.. a lot.." Haha tajus was saying cana tu kalau cake sampai? Siapa yang nyanyi dulu? Haha! When Hau's cake arrived.. it was still in the cake tin -.- so I actually have to DIG out the cake myself from the tin and served it to her!! Hau looked so surprised!! AMAZING!! The thing is.. I don't know how she didn't figure it out! Really!!

1) During utada concert, ada security check. I brought the cake tin with hau's cake (this is because after arriving london, we straight away went for the concert venue) The person even asked me to open the lid of the cake tin. Luckily hau was far away that time but I saw her staring at me! I thought "busted!!"

2) I brought this green plastic bag with hadiah hau (Doug from UP) to C&R. When Hau saw the plastic bag, I told her "ohh I'm going home straight after this that's why I'm carrying so many stuffs now" She just go ohh and nodded!! So mati!! I could have sworn doug's head was quite visible from her position!

3) When I took out the cake from the big biscuit tin, she still didn't think a cake was actually inside it! To the last moment, she was still surprised!! Ahh hau, your innocent and naivety is so lovable~

So yeah, tapi the other table ada beli cake besar and look professional.

"Hau, eventhough our cake isn’t as big as the other table but our cake for you is made with Love!"

Aku sedih nazi inda suka the cake pasal apparently inda manis enough. DARN YOU NAZI! Kami ke japan centre. So happy boleh bali so many Japanese ingredients!! Ada mirin fu (a mirin substitute for those who can’t use high alcohol content), macha powder, Japanese curry and dashi stock! So siapa datang my place nanti, you can request Japanese food now! ;D

GILA BANYAK ORANG di Picadilly circus tube though! Macam sardin! Baik la mijah and nazi hantar balik arah King Cross. I felt teary masa kan balik but nasib ada Far. Im getting more emotional everytime someone sees me off. Bapa babu, peach, nazi, mijah... emo ih!

The next day, ada netball.. Adakah gugur 4 kali.. Ha.. ha.. and langgar orang.. ha.. haa.. Afterwards, b'day ka nona! Celebrate di St Sushi, I love seaweed salad now :D Ada izzah jua! Cute mother-daughter relationship dorang ah xD tapi gila so many February birthday babies right? 0.0

I feel so refreshed now. This past few days, my days are so messed up but I don’t know. Somehow.. when I just woke up, I feel so energized! I cleaned my room, do my laundry, baked, studied, sembahyang, baca quran. Its all back in order. I realized even though I suffered a loss… There are people backing me up I thank my family, friends, housemates for being there during these difficult times :) Wish I could repay back (what better than my cakes haha) and won’t mind me if I burden you guys more hehe. Okay! Next thing to do bali ticket balik ke Brunei! :D

Hey, I actually did accomplish something at least

2010-02-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

YAHOO!!

Tomorrow ada utada hikaru concert :D Ada me, Nazi, Far, Hau and Yee! 5 Bruneians! I hope it'll go well, wish I could get the ticket by post -.- Now have to pick up from the box office. Now listening to as much Utada songs as I can fit inside my head.

You know.. I thought I could make a difference but I guess I think too highly of myself. Why can't I just get over it and move on. Things do linger on longer than what it should be. Should I leave it up to fate or is it now my chance to stop the cycle? I mean I know what's best for me.. I'll have to think about it sooner or later..

ANYHOW!! I've been on a baking spree! No kidding!! Every day there must be something I'm baking! (such a challenge not to try and taste the dough!) Its my fault really. I've come to a decision that I won't buy anymore presents, I'll just bake people cake for their birthday! With my daring baking enthusiasm, I'm trying to bake different types of cake every time! (unless I made too much of the cake batch) So far for this month, I've done about.. 5 different cakes?

Apple Bavarian Torte (untuk Aisyah)

Crunchy Marshmallow Cake (Fandi; Allan and Afdhal ikut bake jua! Iski xD)

Death by Chocolate Cake (Liza, Picah)

Cheesecake Lollipops (for Aine!)

Chocolate Banana Cake

Only gambar death by choc and apple tart not mine, but look very similar to mine. I'm thinking of making a food blog! Wonder if it'll be a great idea :D I have so much recipes in my lappy, I think it'll be fun to try doing all and post it up here and update myself as much as I can. We'll see~

Can't wait to go to Singapore with Ifah!! Can't stop myself from finding the best halal restaurants there is in Spore or even searching for any cool japanese/dessert/HK cafe!! *slap* must work!! Ahh!!

Loving netball now, so fun :D A chance to sweat and socialise. Been losing some weight, hope it goes on till I'm asian-normal! It's late, got to pack!! Ciaaaoo

hey, this thing is actually sad!

2010-01-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

As I tried to find stuff to keep me awake as I studied, I came upon this.

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.

Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby, striped type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!!"

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you
gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running, meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor's dogs. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home, I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. It must be hurting him terribly, I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear. Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviou sly dying, was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.

Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to
those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful,
well liked, beautiful, but for me...

I will always try to be Ugly.

It is long but it is incredible. Make me cry the first time I read it. Probably because I have a soft spot for cat. I saw a cat on my way back outside a house from a doctor appointment. It was black. A clear contrast from the surrounding white snow. I petted the cat around its head, ear, neck, rindu! Manja the kucing, quite fat.

After 5 minutes, i thought i have to go back to do my work. Then the cat followed me for a while until I left the house compound. It just stopped and stared at me. Then a realisation struck me. That must be its home. Its nice to see its been fed well and so faithful to its master. Cats arent as bad as they have been thought for.

I miss my cats now :(

and i really should be studying now!

hey.. i actually lost my voice!

2009-11-28T12:39:00.001-08:00

Astroboy the Movie?!

It's too colorful to be true!

this is just right~

hey.. i actually just dunno

2009-11-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

an itty bitty creature..

i wish i can speak aloud. i mean. i could. but it's hard to reconstruct a sentence without making yourself appear as a lost asian with no sense of direction of conversation or language. when i think of a point. someone else will always rephrase it nicely. therefore, making me miss my cue to participate. stammering. wording in simple kindergardenular terms. wish i could improve from these. hearing them debate is like watching a drama series. wish i can be that animated. they say no questions are stupid. man. my group mates really prove them right.

video sessions are the most embarrassing thing that were ever thought of. you ask. you answer. you flush. you confuse-sise. its all recorded in the camera. and they just had to rewatch it all back so that all that mortifying moment sticks in the head. great. LOVE my accent. now i know why nazi suka imitate. nabil too. ifah too. babu jua. hmm.

brain blocks are the worst. it's amazing how people can just respond to people's questions just like *snap* do their mind works beyond the speed of light? how do they gather the courage to just say whatever is on their mind? (and still say some intelligent stuffs!) i can't imagine myself as a doctor here. who wanna listen to a low self-esteem doctor who tries to talk about simple stuff like butterfly and cookies and avoid the nitty-gritty bits (which are actually what they came for)

i may be a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon. i have one life. and it is short and unimportant. but i wish to make a difference. even in a microscopic scale. to other pieces of carbons around me.

Insignificant exchange

it's alright

we're getting there

Hey, I'm actually in a fairly good mood

2009-11-16T18:37:00.000-08:00

Amie, Bebs, Far, Me and Kaka Nona menang the amazing race!

Running around the city with balloonS never seem so fun!

♦

Addicted to this song now

So catchy ♪

" One, two three, four

Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four "

Hey, i just checked out one of my old-time favourite manga

2009-11-09T13:44:00.001-08:00

I just read the ending of Doraemon.. Can't believe Doraemon is just a dream. So all what we read about Doraemon is just what happened inside Nobita's head? I'm confused. Here's the link if you wanna read the ending with translation. Enjoy~ http://doraemon-lastepisod ae1.blogspot.com/

Hehehe Nazi showed me a collection of Doraemon COSPLAYS!! It's a must SEE!! See if you recognise who Doraemon is cosplaying! Doraemon will always be one of the "old-time-fave" cartoon! xD

Ani cali!! HE HE HE HE

Hey, I actually finished a game in less than a month

2009-11-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

The most heartfelt RPG game I have ever played..

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

It really portrayed about Friendship. Trust. Betrayal. I love the new soundtrack. Love how kingdom hearts song, especially Roxas song, can always tug on my heart string. Knowing the ending of Kingdom Hearts 2, I really wish for an alternate end between Axel and Roxas. Even made me dreamt I lost someone very dear to me. It's that influential..

My favourite scene with my favourite song.

I don't think it is a spoiler but it may as well be

A special cutscene in KHII:Final Mix. This is supposed to be Axel's goodbye to Roxas.

This happened during the fight between Sora & Roxas after Axel dies and Roxas has his flashbacks (Roxas disappears in the end too..) Axel sees Roxas one last time like he wanted. I think it is really heartwrenching when you see a strong person breaks down :'(

Hey, I actually have an exam in 12 hours!

2009-11-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

LIGHTSABERS MAKE EVERYTHING COOLER

So says Mathue Shell of Geekstir, who is (presumably a jobless..) creator of this photoshop. It’s an adaptation of John Trumbull’s 1795 painting “The Death of General Mercer at the Battle of Princeton”, owned by the Yale University Art Gallery.
Aku mau bawa lightsaber to exam.. Cancel tarus the exam sal semua orang awed, inda concentrare. Ha ha ha. Right.

Peach! You gotta see this! Congrats to WFU!

In 2003, Wake Forest University students Nazila Alimohammadi and Anna Clark built this picnic table in the shape of the periodic table of elements. From a campus newspaper:

The two women students created the sculpture as part of a public art course taught in the fall by David Finn, associate professor of art. Students in the class were paired up and assigned to work with campus organizations in creating works for public display. “We wanted our project to be fun and functional without a lot of emotional or political content,” Clark says. An aspiring dentist, Alimohammadi had taken several chemistry classes and suggested working with that department. They devised their “Periodic Table” concept — a pun of the familiar Periodic Table of Elements configuration — and the department responded enthusiastically. Alimohammadi did the structural steel work and Clark hand-painted the surface tiles. The piece, which was dedicated in an informal picnic ceremony on April 15, is accurate in every detail, right down to the auxiliary lanthanides and actinides tables that constitute the table’s bench.

Ani baru tables for orang "maktab sains"!!

Hey, I actually am feeling something weird

2009-10-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

We just had venesection aka taking blood from patients. Well putting blood spilling and needles aside, lots of emotional welfare is going around during the procedure. Of course, patients are scared to death thinking of the pain the needle will inflict on them (believe me, the pain is only present near the skin but once it pass the dermis layer where the pain receptor lies, the pain is gone so the needle could stay there FOREVER without causing anything :P) but do you even think of the doctor?

Do you actually think the doctor wants to inject us? Inflicting pain on us? Well I did before but I see my wrong ways. I seen people crying as they inject their friends. Heck, my friend was shaky as she press the needle onto my arm. I closed my eyes as I felt the pain then I started to hear the teacher screaming at her, asking her to just throw the needle into the bin. When I opened my eyes, I saw dark red blood oozing out of my skin, my friend panicking as she threw away the syringe, tourniquet still pressing hard against my skin, more blood oozing out, me feeling weak, other people coming to help wipe the blood and removing the tourniquet latch.

She looked at me in such a sad way, asking me if it hurts, checking if I'm okay. I tried to reassure her that it is fine. Really. I can see her eyes were red but she really held it in. She won't let any tears fall down. Just by seeing her, I felt my heartstring being pulled. But I couldn't bring myself to hug her as I know it'll burden her.

The reason so much blood came out was she did inject the right vein but blood start to ooze out at the needle enter. There was panic and she pulled the needle out and accidentally prick another spot on my arm causing there to be two blood spilling areas.

Its weird how there was no reason for you to be sad but you just feel sad of what happened. You couldn't have done anything to make it better and you're not at fault but just feeling someone depressed at close bay, can affect you. Can feelings really be transfer? For my 20 minutes journey back home, I couldn't smile. I felt like crying if anything. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Probably that we humans are so hormonal..

This guy is so not hormonal..

Hey, my phone actually isn't working right

2009-10-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

I want a new phone... that can actually receive signal.. and not necessarily

kill them stick people :P

picture copyrighted from thePadlockChild

Hey, I actually am enjoying this!

2009-10-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

FREAAKY

PREGNANCYY..

SO EXPLICIT!!!

SEEING CUT UP FEMALE AND MALE PARTS ARE SO..

EGADS

EXAMS ARE IN NOVEMBER

PEACH IS COMING IN LATE DECEMBER!!

btw.. I never knew Nazi and me look that similar..

EGaddddss

sampat lagi tunjukkan award mijah ah

Hey I'm actually having fun here!

2009-10-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

Newcastle is the love!!

(macam berigali bunyinya atu.. this post is massive. Be warned)

I missed a week for this.. Keke Manggis 1 cousins!

Just returned to UK last week I think. Heheh miss about a week of lecture tsk tsk the amount of lecture I missed is just bio a level and pub crawling. So.. inda miss apa-apa la tu.. Babu, bapa, mijah, nazi balik on the same day. Babu bapa hantar aku dulu. Help dengani sort out rumah and decorate my room (MASSIVE CHANGE) since my housemates datang 4 days after. I'm glad they come.. maybe too glad.. when they leave, hingga ternangis ani wa. Ada ka, mikin emotional jua masa 18 ani ah. Sampai Brunei nangis jua, balik ke UK nangis. Then apa yang aku mau ani kan? I dont know myself sometimes.. (haha perasaaan curi line dari movie) Oh, nabil and ifah nangis jua (haha bagi kamu malu :P)

On the way to Newcastle from London Kings Cross Station

Sedia ihh

Sampai!!

Banyak ah taxi di Newcastle station

Room BEFORE

Thats a vacuum btw

Newcastle is so nice, so lawa, so peaceful, so.. SAJUK!! But the cold is okay, its not like the cold to the bone type. Its just cold. Macam air con brunei. The sales sini bagus! Hingga my parents keep going out every day! I asked to berteranah di rumah, then masa pukul 3 atu, jalan jua! Heeeiisshh..

Opposite the university. Clean.

Church..

Some building on the campus. Named after someone famous which I'm

supposed to know but..

After you go out of the uni, you see this!

Well after 2mins walk pulang

Oh sorry, too short

Didn't spot the man standing up there

Even the back alley looks welcoming

Newcastle's famous landmark..

So pretty.. Its worth falling into

Customers of the market on the left hand side

They should call Newcastle, Newbridge

Too much new bridge..

Amie trying to solve a mind-boggling puzzle

If she didn't solve it, the seller will curse her with the puzzle spirit...

The things these merchants do...

Part of the main shopping mall di Newcastle City Centre, Eldoon Square

Hangout place babu bapa

I'm not kidding...

Yes, she bought that box too

My housemates... Hahaha when Farhana datang. It was meriah a bit as she came with her father jua! (HIGH FIVE!) Then masa Amie and Aidah datang. WOW. Macam party kali!! I was being anti-social when they came. Masih mahu usai printer wa. Baru jua kan~ My room di atas kitchen. Dapat dengar wa the ketawa, the screams, the lamb chop smell.. Just from that, I know how the days will be in this house.. Cool la dorang, we eat together everyday, joke-joke and of course TALK (you just wont believe how topics cant never run out..) They're so nice! I don't hesitate bawa orang ke rumah, they're so welcoming *hint* VISIT ME BAH!

Farhana and her dad. Candid obviously.

Oh that's the kitchen

The housemateys.

They're so tall.

I'm hoping tall genes are infectious

Come to my side.. (aka VISIT ME)

Thanks, model

Coursewise.. SO FUN! Everyday ada something exciting! Well.. maybe not the biochem part (sorry Chiao, i have to say that :P) Cadavernya macam. Lain (I cant say we-rd, ada karang di haunt) Macam mummy, macam plastic jua. Doesnt look fresh, iatah inda berijap. Quite yellow. It is about 400 years old i think... We have to touch it pulang. The lung area or more precisely.. the costodiaphragamatic recess, phrenic nerve, subclavian vein, aorta, diaphragm, parietal pleura membrane, visceral pleural membrane, ribs, hilum, mediastinal surface etc. Siuk jua ambil this course, you get to say a mouthful and feel accomplished just by saying it :P The lungs black in colour.. Macam kana barbeque. The dissecting tutor said, all lungs will look like that somehow as we accumulate the smoke we inhaled. Sad..

Trying to highlight my classes for that week but end up highlighting everything..

Course is intensive. Everyday ada classes except weekend of course! Can go from 9am - 5pm. Normally masa lunch, I went to this hall yang ada malaysians. They're so nice! Pinjamkan telekong and bagi food jua!! But feel really bad about that, so I bata saja. I puji Bruneian to be able to speak multiple slang, we can understand malaysians, indonesians, miri-ans, singaporeans. But we ourselves can't be understood. Sedih sedih

In their room in Ricky Road

L to R: Piqi, kiki, Qieki (try saying these names faster, pronouce the Q well~)

That sofa is my bed in between classes. Comfy MAX

Classes are strange, as it can be lectures, hospital visits, clinical lab practical, dissecting room practical, video session (yes.. you have to be video-ed, then be watched by the rest of your group.. VERY HUMILIATING), discussion class and so forth. Its not routined so its exciting in that sense. Baik jua la the ang mo medics eventhough they drink a lot. But guess that's normal. They're so fit too! Haha tadi ada chest examination session. I was praying hard.

No hairy chest.

The blokes of our tutor group mesti volunteer to remove their shirts for the sake of EDUCATION. My pray came true. So its alright. But wow. I seen three naked chests now (that sounds wrong) Semuanya ber-abs and muscular. I mean. They're not just geeks. They're FIT! Anyway, then have to belajar the introducing to patient, palpitation, percussion, auscultation.. In other words, touching them. Weird experience. Have to get used to this. Somehow.

Part of my 20 minutes journey to the medical building

Notice that off-colour on the left

You're not seeing things.

I had to walk past a cow field to Uni.

Nice

Hey, I'm actually screwed...

2009-09-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hohoho I've been a stalker these past few days. Sorry orang NewcastleBru! I am excited for this Sept but then again.. I'm scared jua cause of the new environment, new course, new people.. Ahh this letter NEW!

I dunno why I'm taking Medicine sometimes, when I look at the details of the course, especially the biochemistry part, I feel.. FAIL ni!! GERENTI FAIL!! But when I looked at the practical side, it doesn't seem so bad.. Have to buy white coats, stethoscope, googles, anatomy books!! I see sparkles!! Hahaha kasian jua aku ani.. Here to a 5/7 years in Newcastle! It will work, I can feel it x) Hope I won't come to a point where I regret the path I chose during that "fork" It better not..

I saw this gambar di album Amie!! Heheheh ani masa Newcastle Sungkai dinner. The names in bold are gonna be my housemates :D Zyra is the ex-housemate. I took her place since she graduated. Pity.. It'd be cool if kami semua sama rumah! Fikriyah, adik Farhana, she sat next to me! She also helped ease off my nervous feeling during the sungkai along with the members of the same table xD Of course, who won't know Aidah? I worshipped her lama dah dari MS for her leader capabilities :P to think now we're living in the same house! Lain fate ani!!

L to R: Fikriyah, me, Amie, Zyra, Aidah, Farhana

Hey, I can't turn back now

2009-07-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Heeeyy!!

Abis tia Leavers' ball.. and Cheltenham Ladies College life..

Mula-mula masa paginya, kami ada speech day. So we go to school, wearing our day dress. Haha cant wear a dress. So I wear baju kurong? (is it?) Izah sama jua! (my tudong kawan) Semua orang lawa la. Masa the service, kami sang the hymm Jerusalam bising-bising! Gegar Princess Hall ah! I mean its the last hymm and we kinda treat it as a song rather than a blessing for Jesus. It has a nice melody.. After that, kami keluar ke garden and jumpa people and of course.. picture galore~
,
.

Notice how the two pics macam similar? (admit it~)
Basically we wanna relive back the pic below dari thorpe park

Hahaha si Izah out! Basah kami from a water ride!

Girls college, what do you expect? ;) Then at 11am, kami ke Princess Hall to hear speeches. Cali wa the headmistress! Sajak bila?! Hahaha they joked about her hair, her new garden, her propaganda, Gordon Brown becoming teacher (I think I laughed too loud for this xP) and ada this clip about Miss Adams jua, funny! Such memorable final prayers~

Then we kinda had the whole afternoon to prepare ourselves for the real ball at 7.30pm! Normal me. What do I do? Read my blogname 8)

I was really touched by Nung after the ball had ended (we returned back to the dorm). At first she hugged Angela goodbye yea? Then after ia hugged aku, ia nangis. Then Angela said "don't cry, you're gonna see us again." But Nung cakap "But I'll see you again next week but I might never see Zak again." (Nung ke HK next week) Just those words, padih tarus mata. BUT THEN.. Ngacau wa si Crystal ah (not in a bad way) after balik from the ball, she played the song vitamin c - graduation (friends forever). At first, okay tu, dengar saja. Then the lyrics hit me. Hard. Then we all started to cry, emo ih. Even our housemistress started to give out tissue papers!
,

Our table in the Enchanted Forest~ (Chao and Crystal hilang)
Left to right: Lizzy, Franc, Viv, Nung, me, Izah, Angela
Eh wait, Crystal is the one on the VERY RIGHT :P Can u spot?

The final sweet memory together~

It's so quick~ I never thought this day would really come~ Hmm.. The last week of the college was really fun! We went to Thorpe Park on 24th and three days afterward, it was my birthday! I am really grateful to Cryst, Chao, Angela and Rachel for staying behind with me in Cheltenham. Them, being just there by my side on that day was really heartwarming! Love u guys! D'x The others.. sibuk sadly but it's the thought that counts :) The juniors were really sweet to buy me a banoffee cake and Wena (fiance Judin) pun bought me a chocolate cake, whereas bapa babu balikan triple chocolate cake! Thanks x') Oh almost forgot, Crystal made me a white and dark chocolate cheesecake! (I helped too! A bit..) Me and Chao watched Princess Mononoke as we waited for the cake to be set in the fridge (Crystal inda sanggup liat xP )
,

Masa thorpe park, we went on.. the SAW (The ride behind us ;) )

Crystal joined too! This is the outside of the SAW (Waiting place, we waited for an hour and a half)
In total there were 4 of us daredevils xD

On my birthday! Kami ke playground near a park! Miss JP

Of course before that we ate out di D-Fly
This is Batik Chao!

Crystal and Angela..

Having the biggest mouth contest

We went to the park afterwards to rest our satisfied tummy~
This is Rachel by the way

Sweet memories~ If I feel rajin, I'll do more post of Chelts

By the way,

I read there are 8 symptoms of swine flu. May sound banyak, but it really isnt. So I made up a way to remember the symptoms! Think of FLASH RED. Ergo..

F ever
L oss of apetite
A ching muscles
S ore throat
H eadache
R unny or stuffy nose
E xhaustion and feeling weak
D ry cough

Easy now? (Y)

Hey, it actually does feel a bit lonely

2009-07-01T14:00:00.001-07:00

I will really gonna miss them :( (Im missing them already)

Waj, Rab, Ming, Baz

You guys will make great seniors. I assured you. Fun, caring and bubbly. You won't let them down. Seriously (woman's instinct maan)

Greatest juniors ever. No doubts there ;)

Rabi owes me a signature!